The unsound approach


we know how much you all love a sing-song, so on the next overnight car-journey have a round-robin to the following with this playing in the background...

Thou shalt not string if there is a direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship Nordic idols or follow Ian Wallace.
Thou shalt not take the names of Peter Scott, Richard Meinertzhagen, John James Audubon, Chris Mead, Alfred Wallace, Ted Parker or Gary Bagnell in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 12 with a crap pair of bins is a dude, … Some people are just poor.
Thou shalt not read Birdwatching Magazine
Thall shalt not stop working a patch just because its become popular.
Thou shalt not question Lee Evans.
Thou shalt not judge a record by its observer.
Thou shalt not get a girlfriend who is also a birder.
Thall shalt not buy Country Innovation products. Thou shalt not buy Birdguides products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your girlfriend’s best friend, use playback and get a Lesser pecker.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use seals, sunsets or nightingales to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Birding with Bill Oddie.
Thou shalt not attend County birdclub meetings and leave as soon as you're done just because you’ve finished your shitty slide-show you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not gripe about some bird you saw years ago week in, week out just “cause you know its was one” but are never going to submit it.

Thou shalt not put members of the BBRC on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.

Canada Warbler - was just a bird.
Blyth’s Pipit - Just a bird.
Hermit Thrush - Just a bird.
Masked Shrike - Just a bird.

Long-billed Murrelet- Just a bird.
Black-eared Kite - Just a bird.
Snowy Owl - Just a bird.
Barrow’s Goldeneye - Just a bird.
Spotsand - Just a bird.
Ivory Gull - Just a bird.
American Robin - Just a bird.
White-billed Diver - Just a bird.
Gyr - Just a bird.
Pacific Diver  - Just a bird.
Frankin’s - Just a bird.
Glaucous-winged Gull - Just a bird.
The next big thing - JUST A BIRD.


Thou shalt give equal worth to common birds occurring in the English countryside as to rare ones occurring next to airports where Ryanair fly in non-English speaking countries

Thou shalt remember that pagers, megas and digi-blasting were never part of the four elements and never will be.

Thou shalt not do repetitive year lists

Thou shalt not do repetitive year lists

Thou shalt not do repetitive year lists

Thou shalt not do repetitive year lists

Thou shalt not skor a lift.
Thou shalt not
fully trouser the mega.
Thou shalt not
wait for news.
Thou shalt not only be in it for the birds.
When I say “lift” thou shalt not say “offered”.
When I say “
armchair” thou shalt not say “tick”.
When I say "
I found this corking half-summer Caspian Gull
" - kill me.
Thou shalt not
tick and run.
Thou shalt not
get in the mix with the geese.
Thou shalt not
wish your county recorder was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “acceptable” A-C-C-E-P-T-A-B-L-E not A-C-C-E-P-T-I-B-L-E , regardless of what you read on ornithological list-servers.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Will had a tiff with Josh on Birdforum last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always kill.